Royal Oak Rejects RC

A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on Harleys. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy's Harley, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I finally got my own Harley. I've been riding a Harley ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real biker."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women." Then she got up and left.

The biker was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

And we know you're a poser if...

 - You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
 - You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
 - You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
 - You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
 - You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.  
 - You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
 - You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
 - Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
 - You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
 - Your tattoos wash off.
 - You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
 - You won't ride down a gravel road.
 - You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
 - You only ride on weekends, when you can.
 - You never ride to work.
 - All your leathers match.
 - There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
 - You don't own a rain suit.
 - You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
 - You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
 - You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
 - You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection.
 - You ride a Ducati.
 - Your longest road trip this year was to wombourne for bike night.

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft."

Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he says.

She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"